Buying a car is an exercise in superlatives. You want the best car.

The best design, the cleanest lines, the smoothest curves, the prettiest head/tail lights, the prettiest colors. The most powerful, the most horse power, the most torque, the strongest low-end torque, the fastest acceleration. The best fuel economy, the most efficient engine, the lowest drag, the fewest parasitic losses, the most transmission speeds. The best handling, the strongest hold on the road, the smoothest ride, the firmest ride, the stickiest tires, the least body roll, the best traction control, the most stable roll control. The safest crash ratings, the most air bags, the biggest crumple zones, the strongest side beams, the shortest stopping distance, the brightest headlights, the most headlights. The most reliable, the fewest defects, the tightest and most even gaps, the most durable components, the longest and most comprehensive warranty. The most comfortable, the most leg room, head room, knee room, and hip room, the softest surfaces, the most ergonomic and adjustable seats, the softest leather, the best leg support, the best back support, the most adjustable steering wheel, the quietest. The clearest radio, the most disc formats, the most speakers, the most watts, the most satellite stations. The most information features, the most intelligible instrument panel with the brightest gauges, the most logically laid out controls, the most digital integration, the highest towing capacity, the biggest trunk, the most flexible space usage, the most cup holders, the most pockets, the most reading lights, the coldest air conditioning, the warmest heater, the nicest interior trim, the most buttons on the key fob, the biggest sunroof, the darkest tinting. The cheapest, the best deal, the best financing, the biggest discounts, the cheapest insurance.

Acura, Aston Martin, Audi, Bentley, BMW, Buick, Cadillac, Chevrolet, Chrysler, Dodge, Ferrari, Ford, GMC, Honda, Hummer, Hyundai, Infiniti, Isuzu, Jaguar, Jeep, Kia, Lamborghini, Land Rover, Lexus, Lincoln, Lotus, Maserati, Maybach, Mazda, Mercedes-Benz, Mercury, MINI, Mitsubishi, Morgan, Nissan, Panoz, Pontiac, Porsche, Rolls-Royce, Saab, Saleen, Saturn, Scion, Subaru, Suzuki, Tesla, Toyota, Volkswagen, Volvo

Yahoo Autos lists 643 models in 2996 trims available, from $9,995 to $555,000. God knows how many options configurations.

Is it any wonder so many people say "Aww screw it, I'll just get a damn Camry like everyone else"?